I want to be a writer someday. I guess I write now. Does that make me a writer?
I keep taking jobs that are easy for me because I just want to be able to work enough hours to pay my rent and feed myself so I can sit on this couch and write.
I used to challenge myself more with my careers. I used to be a salesperson. I gave new meaning to the "fake it till ya make it" saying. I pretended to have confidence and be eager to sit with each new customer. But I was faking. Pretending. Faking it hoping to be on the way to making it. Hoping they'd buy what I was selling. Hoping they wouldn't ask too many questions about the product.
But I don't do that anymore. I'm simply not able to. Nowadays I get anxious and my heart rate elevates a few hours before I go to work. I didn't know what any kind of a panic attack felt like until I turned 40. I thought shit was supposed to get easier with age and experience!
I get anxious because I lack self confidence ... even still. If confidence were a big mountain, I'd be three quarters of the way up. But I'm at the part with the treacherous footing, the loose rock, the crevices calling my name. I know I'm intelligent. I personally financed a million dollars worth of cars with one of the banks when I was in the Car biz. That's nothing to sneeze at. But I still doubt myself and my abilities every single day. That doubt is compounded even more when I look at the job ads. Before long, the fog settles over me and I become engulfed with self-doubt. Swirling around in my brain are words like 'dummy', 'not qualified', 'not educated', 'not hire-able'.
Lack of confidence can undermine your intelligence faster than amnesia.
It's done a number on mine.
I am finding though, that this habit of taking the easy jobs is biting me in the ass. I work two part-time jobs at the moment. The one follows Employment Standards to the letter, and the other one has broken code four times in the one month I've been there. They've taken almost $40 out of my pay check for alleged "cash shortages". They expect to pay me liquor serving wage while I'm cooking for kids' Birthday parties. And those parties are usually only a 2 hour shift ... rule is 3. I also keep getting asked to come in on my own time to correct paperwork.
NEW RULE: If you own or manage a Business in Canada, you need to know and be tested on Employment Standards YEARLY.
I'm all about Employee rights. If you're an employee ... I got your back. It's the only way I know. I've only ever been an employee. Never been an employer or a Business owner. But I've worked for more than I'd like to admit.
Some people are ashamed of the number of sexual partners they've had.
While I'm ashamed of how many jobs I've had.
I've decided that we need a Social Study done on Employee Rights in Ontario. Calling all University and/or College students in Human Resources, Political Science, or any other program that deals with Employer-Employee relations. Survey your fellow students. Survey your parents. Survey every Employee you know asking them if their Employers have always followed Employment Standards.
The past ten years has seen me bounce from minimum wage job to minimum wage job. I'm happily now above that at both jobs~ though one is significantly higher than the other. But I can tell you that my City sucks for Employment Standards. The biggest coffee conglomerate in this city is owned by one family who screw their Employees over on the daily. Been there; got dismissed without cause for showing them the Employment Standards website highlighting the rules they had broken. That's right, you cannot be fired for questioning employment standards. But that just means they'll list a different reason like "operational measures". I swear some Businesses in Ontario have a separate miscellaneous column on their accounting program for monies they screwed kids out of.
We need to start educating our youth about this stuff. What has "Romeo & Juliette" ever taught any Grade 9 student other than the fact that kids had sex way back then too! Change the curriculum to teach your kids what their rights are, what their deductions are for, and how to read their pay checks. I've worked with several University students who had no idea what "Vacation Pay" was, and didn't get theirs after they left because they didn't ask for it.
I'm a proud Canadian. As soon as we vote the Blue out, we'll be tops again I know it. But we need to start treating the minions better. They'll never make robots to stir your double double or cut your hair with a perfect fade. They'll never create an automated device that you can tell your sorrows to and know that it empathizes. Ew can you imagine what a therapeutic massage would be like from R2D2?
Employees are humans. Humans have rights.
Let's help the humans in Canada get the respect they deserve!