Friday, 19 April 2019

All Hail the Roacher!!

***this is a satire piece I started months ago & just remembered after a friend posted a pic of their stash of cannabis roaches.  Thanks for the reminder friends!!

Hardy partiers all across Canada know the value of their empties.  Some of us even hoard cases of them in closets like walk-in piggy banks. The way the stock market fluctuates, seems to me like a pretty risk-free way to save money.  There is a certain demographic however, of weekend warriors who toss their empties in their recycling bins.  You find these thriftless drinkers residing in the residential areas around our many colleges and universities.

Luckily for the environment though, there exists another demographic;  the trusty blue-bin pickers.  These industrious humans walk these streets guided keenly by the waste pick-up schedules collecting valuable empties to be returned to the Beer Store for the deposit.  The clink-clink of the bottles banging together inside their wagons can be heard echoing off of the brick houses all across campus and the residential ‘ghetto’.  Because of this, not everyone is a fan of the BBP’s, as you can imagine.  The clink-clink is audible blocks away and gains volume with each step.  Students and seniors alike complain about them and the local College Quik-Stop had completely sold out of earplugs until they increased their supply.

These busy areas of Canadian cities are also supportive of Bill C45, adult-use Cannabis legalization.  This past home-coming I asked some local university students if they thought they would drink less alcohol next year once Cannabis is legal.  All three young students shared a glance and then simply said, “naw, we’ll likely still do both.”

Last week happened to be time to cash out my piggie bank where I had a visit with one of the BBP’s I’ve seen in the area.  He knows I’m a Cannabis user so of course, we discussed legalization.  With excitement in his eyes he explained that all of the BBP’s support and welcome C45.  I looked at him skeptically and he said, “well ya doll, y’know why don’tcha?  The roaches of course!  Now we’ll be able to collect the empties AND the roaches off the front yards after their crazy parties!”  I looked at him with my “seriously?” look and he continued, “Oh ya girl, then we process the roaches, add some tobe, and re-sell roachers back to the students for $20 a pop!  Cannabis appreciates sister and gets better when smoke is pulled through it so the roacher is a super-strong version of the doobie, you outta know that!”.

I just stood staring with a look of sheer admiration and amazement.  If only the Dragon’s Den could find initiative like this!  All I could think was how brilliant it was!

“Oh and the best part is that a few of the younguns have been at us to sort through the bins more quietly.  So I made a deal with a few of them to keep the clinking down in return for their roach collections!  It’s a win-win!”

I literally bowled over laughing, shoulders rising steadily as I enjoyed this well-deserved belly-laugh.  My own alchemist marketing mind was afire with ideas.  All he’d have to do is grow some organic Spearmint and add that to the mix to sweeten the roacher even more.

We high-fived as I just slowly shook my head, still laughing.

“Great seein’ ya doll!  You got my number right?  Let me know if you’re lookin to fall to da couch.  I’ll give ya the roacher friend discount!” and he roared at his own ingenious as he continued to sort bottles.

I waved at him behind me and settled into a thought.  Have you ever seen how our emblem, the Canadian Beaver can take a pile of scrub and make it a home?  We are an industrious crew.

Oh Canada indeed.

Friday, 7 December 2018

They Say Quality Cannabis Isn't Grown Outdoors

5000 years or longer the Earth has grown the plant.

But the plant doesn't need the Sun they say. The Sun hasn't raised her up a bazillion times before.
Of course she does, they are partners, mated for life & no other light source grows her as well.

The Sun partners the plant ...

The Moon has never eased her midnight worries, they don't wish for a meeting they say. But the Moon whispers encouragement in windy nights of premature cold. The Moon pulls at the plant
urging her on & up each night without fail.

The Moon partners the plant ...

The Stars do nothing for botany, just speckles of light above they say. Yet the Stars may be the most important outdoor aid that plantlife knows. Like wind-chimes, like hype-girls, like today's top 20 ... the Stars are entertainment on the nights the clouds disappear for even they are a part of growing a good life.

The Stars & Clouds partner the plant too ...

In the Cannabis world, some plants are lucky to grow wild & free while others suffer the woes of man-made lights & super sterility.

For each seed its destination is in the luck of the sow . . . . .

Sunday, 5 August 2018

Oil Over Nature? No thanks.

Shared from twitter, props to Mike Hudema @mikehudema

This cartoon in the Seattle Times pretty much sums it up: 

@JustinTrudeau there are only 75 southern resident orcas left. Protect them. 400 new tankers through their habitat doesn’t help.

#cdnpoli #bcpoli #orcas #ocean #stoppipelines #NoTMX

Monday, 23 July 2018

Thoughts Are Thoughts & Nothing More.

**trigger warning: suicide

I hear and read a lot about mental illness and the ways that my fellow humans are effected by it.

I'm a successful CBT patient and as I've conveyed to some of you, cognitive behavioral therapy has helped me immensely.

One thing that my therapist taught me is that thoughts are just thoughts.

We cannot control them
We cannot stop them
Thinking them does not make us what the thought is.

For instance, if you catch yourself thinking about harming someone, it doesn't mean that you're a murderer.

If you catch yourself thinking about killing yourself, it does not mean that you should or that your core being wants you to.

I truly find that calling it something alluring like "suicidal ideation" is part of the problem!


C'mon ... suicidal thoughts is what that means and hearing the word "thoughts" is better than using the word "ideation" that makes it seem like it's some core inherent thing that you cannot change.

If you're having these thoughts, challenge them!

Ask yourself: if my situation were different, would I still want that to be?

I think about going to the long sleep almost once a week these days. But I challenge it.

Feeling or thinking is one thing.

Doing is something totally different.

Be well.   Reach out.  You are loved.