Thursday 24 December 2020

Anxiety, the Friend That Never Leaves You


I was just putting together alllllll the instances growing up where I suffered from unknown stomach issues.

There were several times in elementary school that my mum came to the school but then left & the "I miss my mummy feeling" in my stomach was absolutely gutting.  It happened before Hockey practices --I was the first girl in the town to play hockey with the boys.  It happened the first few times I slept over at friends' houses too.

There were times during my early 20's where the dull achey nausea was so bad, I'd force myself to vomit to try to make it go away.  It happened before work if/when I was unhappy with my job. It happened on the way to a stupid meeting in Kingston that I wasn't eager to attend.

Now I see that it was allllllllllways ANXIETY & my body's reaction to the fight/flight/freeze instinct.

It's interesting really to look back & remember those times & then realize EXACTLY what that was all about.

Oh the things I'd do then if I knew what I know now.

(Imagine the plants I could've grown on Hutching's Road!!!!!)

So ... in the words of Aldous Huxley, "Experience isn't what happens to you but what you do with what happens to you."

I don't have kids but I see & hear about the anxiety kids are feeling.  Some are dx'd heavy psych meds.  Others avoid school, dreading their life every Sunday because that day means tomorrow they go back to school.

I see adults with these issues too.  I'm here to suggest & urge you to try cannabinoids.  I am here to help.

Yesterday I got my CRA GST remittance papers.  In the first year of me being the owner/operator of Canna Clarity, I haven't made enough to remit GST.

I revel in the fact that though I've only printed one invoice for counselling, I have most definitely helped my fellow humans feel better, dose better, grow better, love themselves-forgive themselves-hype themselves better.

We live in a world that quantifies success differently than I do and differently than most of the people I call friends.  For many, success is never feeling the gutting "I miss my mummy feeling".  To me, success is understanding what it was all about and realizing the message it told me.

Today I begin to listen to my gut.

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