Saturday 22 June 2024

Removing the Shame-Filter From Our Memories

 Have you ever thought about a memory and realized that it's covered by a shame filter?   For instance, in grade 7 I kissed a girl at a sleepover at her house.  She kissed me back but the other girls thought it was weird/wrong/gross/ <add adjective to fit>.

So, a few years ago the topic of youth experimentation came up while I was watching one of the eps of GLEE.  There was a scene where two of the girls who were best friends, also made out.  While watching it, I admired how comfortable they were with their bodies and knew that that wasn't how I was back then!

I saw in that moment that this type of experimentation might have been good for young women's self esteem.  I mean, to this day we make ourselves up more for other women than for men.  My bestie loves to wear sparkles and make her beauty shine which in turn, encourages me to do the same.  

But when I began to remember that hey, I did that once ... I remembered the shame I felt from the others in the room.  I remembered the shame I felt when, on Monday one of the girls told some of the boys that I'd kissed a girl.  That shame was so thick and blanketed this memory so well that it covered up the innocence of the activity beneath.

It only took me moments to scrape the shame filter off so I could see what that experience was.  All it was, was simple and honest experimentation with someone I knew and trusted.  There was nothing shameful about it.

Have you noticed yourself remembering moments like this from YOUR past?  It's been happening to me a lot and I've read that this is a necessary part of our existence right now.  The tip is to acknowledge the memory, feel it, and let it go.

So, to the shame filter that hid this incredible memory of innocence and curiosity, out with you now!

I feel you and I let you go.  You hold no power over me anymore.  

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